While reading through the comments from my peers on my essay, I made mental notes of ideas for revision. I need to work on making my paragraphs more concise by cutting down my introduction paragraph. I also need to have better wording for when I explain some of my quotes so they make more sense. I plan to even out the length of all of my paragraphs so they aren’t are weird. To do this, I mostly need to lengthen the majority of my paragraphs, especially my conclusion. In my conclusion, I make a point that I need to move into my introduction so that it isn’t just new information that pops in during my conclusion. Overall, I think I had a good start to my second essay and only have minor things to fix.